Excuses, excuses

I am a teacher. I teach music. I have a favorite poster on my door. All the other music teachers I know have the same poster up. It resembles a road sign, but instead of Speed Limit: 55, it says Excuse Limit: 0.

If my students get nothing else from my class, I want them to learn that their choices and their responses have the power to get them to rise to greatness.

My school is classified as low-income. 90% of our students (more in my building) are minorities. Many of my students live in apartments, and move often, being in our district for only a year or two, often. There are some who are more stable, but there are many who are not. Many of them also come from single-parent homes. Some are practically raised by older siblings rather than their parents, who are working hard at two jobs just to keep food in the house. It is sad that kids need to be raised this way, but I give props to the parents who do whatever they have to to support their families.


PARENTING
That said, there is a problem that results from this. Excuses abound. I sometimes have conversations with parents regarding poor work or poor behavior from their students. The parents sometimes want to ask their children why the behavior occurred, at which point the student will give an excuse. ("He started it," "she said my momma was fat," "he was looking at me funny," etc.) This is understandable -- they are kids. The problem comes when the parent accepts the excuse and tells the child that their behavior was OK because of the other person involved. Don't get me wrong -- this only occurs in a small number of cases. But it does occur. And it breaks my heart.

These parents do not realize that they are teaching their children to be helpless. They are teaching their children that is OK to do the wrong thing as long as you put the blame elsewhere. And this is becoming an epidemic in our society.

PERSONAL SUCCESS
I used to work in sales. When my numbers were down, I'd talk to the boss and tell him why. If I gave him a good sob story, do you think he paid me more? Of course not! Either I got results or I didn't get the money. That's the beauty of commission sales -- it is a true, sincere form of pay.

The boss never said it out loud, but when I'd make an excuse, he could just look in the direction of another salesman who was going through the same thing, and yet sold more.

Eventually, it hit me -- all these excuses meant nothing. I thought back to my middle school band director, who had his own poster, which said, "results, not excuses." And I began to get more focused on making it happen, rather than allowing it not to happen.

I managed to make it through bankruptcy and divorce, because instead of letting them become excuses, I simply moved forward. And I am a much happier, more successful man today because of it.

LEADERSHIP
I even see it in Washington. Our president routinely blames Congress for not getting things done. I heard the DNC chairwoman the other day, defending the president in this regard, saying "it's hard to get Congress to work together when the Senate minority leader has stated that his number one goal is to get Obama out of office."

COME ON! Do you really think that Democrats did not have getting Bush out of office as a goal? Or Reagan for that matter? Or Republicans toward Clinton? And yet, in all these cases, with good leadership, they worked together. Clinton, as much as I didn't like his policies, was a good leader, because he worked with Gingrich et al, and got things done.

But Obama makes the excuse, and other Democrats back him up on the excuse.

Is it right for McConnell to say his number one goal is removing Obama from office? Probably not. But that does not mean they cannot work together. Good leadership overcomes these obstacles. Bad leadership makes excuses.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE
There is no excuse so great that it actually makes failure into success.

Even if an excuse is valid in itself, it accomplishes nothing. You can give me an excuse for not having any food, but that does not make food magically appear in your refrigerator. It may make me feel pity for you and give you something.

But then, you are no longer a person of spirit. Rather, you are an object of pity. You have lost spiritual value in the eyes of others, and while your body may be cared for, your spirit goes numb.

And once your spirit is numb, you are easy to control. You are like an animal at that point. My dog will do anything for me when he sees a treat in my hand. I give him what he wants, and he does anything for it. He is an animal, and this is acceptable.

YOU ARE A HUMAN; THEREFORE, IT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

If an excuse gets you what you want, it is at the expense of your human spirit.

Is it really worth it?